so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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