it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
