Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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