No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
