I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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