i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
