When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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