So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
