i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
