i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
