Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
