they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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