Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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