i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
