HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
