Small penises have feelings too.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
