if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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