maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
