Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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