Don't make out with my wife yet
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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