New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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