Don't make out with my wife yet
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
