yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
