I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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