dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
