Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
