His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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