I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
