wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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