Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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