I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
