can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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