when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I want her autograph on my taint
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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