My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize