Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
