the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
