Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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