i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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