Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
