Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
