I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
