i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize