I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
