I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
