What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
