is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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