Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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