Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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