He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize