Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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