dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I need to stop coming to work sober
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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