My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
