im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
