found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
