You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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