Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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