I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
