He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
there is glitter all over my balls
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
