Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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