I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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