Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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