i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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