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I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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