And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just gargled with NyQuil
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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