Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
