i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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