people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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