i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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