Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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