He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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